do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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