I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
