sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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