I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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