3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
