Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
