i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I wear drunk well.
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