my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
