barbara walters just said penis...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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