i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I currently don't understand fingers.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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