we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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