This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
