I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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