We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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