I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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