I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
