How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
