I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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