I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
