I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
