Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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