How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize