I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
