I won't be sarcastic... just naked
it glows. i had to have it.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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