This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
