I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
