I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I just blew my weed a kiss
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
