If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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