Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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