Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
