If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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