It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
