I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
