i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
