best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Is it penis luge time yet?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
