I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
