Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
