there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
