Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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