how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
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The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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