I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
