Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
