just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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