I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
