You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Randomize
