they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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