love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
