i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
