You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize