I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
