i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
