Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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