You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
try to milk me bitch
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
