i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
