There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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