ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
