Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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