I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
