if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
