i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
