No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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