In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
