no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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