Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
