Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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