Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You've changed since you got that strap on
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
