well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
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I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
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Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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